Dove Bijou DuPree Birth Story
I’m finally deciding to type out Dove’s birth story, on the day that she turns two months old, because I feel like I’m going to forget some of the details if I wait any longer. This is my third birth story to share on the blog, and you can find my firstborn Phoenix’s story here and Sage’s story here. Let’s dive in!
If we’re starting at her conception, she was definitely a surprise pregnancy! We were in the home buying process, trying to move from Nashville back to our hometown in Texas at the time and had just gone under contract for a really teeny two-bedroom historic home. My days had been full of talk about inspections, appraisals, loan approvals, and the like, so I was honestly very distracted by all of that when I got a positive test. I almost instantly started feeling the really deep exhaustion that comes with first trimester, and also began to have extreme food aversions and nausea. The idea of a third kiddo in a small house (that actually didn’t appraise and was beginning to look like a bad idea) was too much, so we decided to pull out of the contract and find another house. Luckily, we had an offer accepted on a large fixer upper not far from the historic home we fell in love with, and we decided to move ahead as planned with our cross country move. I saw the baby on my eight week dating scan ultrasound the week before we moved, which was pretty amazing to have that peace of mind going into the move lifting boxes and driving all that way.
The first trimester continued to be really hard on me with two kids and constant headaches and nausea. I lost quite a bit of weight from just not being able to eat anything and spending the majority of my time laying down while my sweet toddlers ran around and trashed the house haha. I tried to give myself grace and kept telling myself it was a short time and hopefully it wouldn’t be too long! The nausea and headaches didn’t really fully subside until about 18 weeks, but within that time I chose a really sweet group of midwives and began another homebirth journey!
The pregnancy continued pretty normally, I was working on as many home projects as I possibly could to get the home to a stopping point before baby made her appearance. I will say that around 20 weeks I started to have vulva pain and the varicose veins from my previous pregnancy started to form again. They continued to get worse despite my efforts, and I began dealing with really severe pelvic pain because of them. Sometimes it was debilitating and I would just lay around the house wondering how I would finish the pregnancy while staying active and HOW would a baby come out when I’m in so much pain down there?! We did also have a scare when my anatomy scan showed a marginal placenta previa — but that resolved luckily by 32 weeks, and we continued to our goal of a third homebirth.
In the final few weeks of my pregnancy, I began feeling the itch to get her out. I really think the varicose veins had me in so much pain I was just so READY to meet her and not have the sleepless nights anymore. I began taking Birth Prep, an herbal supplement to “help” prepare the cervix and body for labor, as well as just continuing to stay busy and active in my daily life.
At 39 weeks and 5 days, I had a midwife appointment and I wanted to ask her for a membrane sweep. In my experience, I always go over my due dates and seeing as how my due date was just two days away, I decided it was worth a shot. I told her I had a sick kiddo at home and was nervous I was getting sick as well but that I didn’t care because we had all tested negative for COVID. It was probably nothing! She warned me that you don’t want to have a baby in a house full of sick kids, and I assured her I didn’t care (HA joke is on me later) and we went ahead with the membrane sweep. It was uncomfortable, but nothing bad. She said I was stretched to a three and if anything was going to happen from the sweep, it would happen in the next 24-48 hours.
I went home and took care of sick kiddos that day, and nothing happened at all. Not even a tiny contraction — which was odd because I had been having on and off contractions for the previous two weeks. I took it as a sign that the timing wasn’t right and just relaxed that day, taking care of the boys.
The following day, everyone felt much better and we spent a ton of time outside. At like 11AM I was making a video message to my sisters-in-law and I felt a contraction. I was like
Hmmmm but didn’t think much of it. Collin was at work down the road and I decided to braid my hair, get ready for the day and just hang with the boys. I even did some Instagram stories about how I was prepping for postpartum! All the while, having some contractions here and there in a non-painful, but regular pattern. I decided to try my breast pump to start speeding things up (something I did with my previous labor and said I wouldn’t do again hahahah) and it did bring a few stronger contractions, but they would space out after I got off the pump. I lost bits of my mucus plug and began to have some bloody show by around 4PM, but I still felt fine.
Collin let me know that my cousin invited him to a local concert and I told him to go after the boys went to bed because I still felt fine. I could tell I was going into labor, but was still in early labor so if this was anything like my previous birth — I had hours. I was thinking I’m not having a baby tonight but probably tomorrow! We were excited. He put the boys to bed and left while I stayed back trying to put everything we had left to the last minute together. I gathered the birth tub and the tarp for the floor, I cleaned our room and turned on all of my faux candles around the room, all while dealing with Sage who would NOT go to sleep. I think somehow he knew. He stayed in his crib awake singing for about an hour that night which was so unusual for him!
I began texting my best friend (who is also pregnant) about the bloody show and the contractions which were very regular at this point (about 3 minutes apart) and starting to get uncomfortable. She was like what do you mean collin is at a concert!! And I was beginning to think she was right, so I texted him and said to come home by 9:15, which he obliged.
I texted my mom, who had decided to fly in two days after my due date, since I always go over. I told her that she should try to fly in ASAP and she booked a flight for early the next morning and said she’d make it to my house by 10AM. We were getting excited!
At 10PM collin realized I hadn’t eaten anything, so I sat down and had a bowl of Cheerios with a banana and begged him to call the midwife. He said he didn’t think it was time (I think he just didn’t want to bother her) so I called her instead. She told me that since it was late and I had been up and busy all day, I should try to rest and they would probably stop and start up again tomorrow. I agreed and told collin to hurry up and go to sleep because they were getting intense and I knew I would need him soon.
I forgot to mention I was using my Freya app this entire time, and I took the Positive Birth Company’s Hypnobirthing class which I found IMMENSELY helpful for this stage of labor. I was really having to breathe through them throughout the night, and it was strange because they began to space way far out, maybe ten or twenty minutes apart. I would sleep as best as I could in between contractions, but at 3:30AM I called it and got up out of bed. As soon as I got into the bathroom, I had about three contractions in a ten minute period, and they were really intense. I went to the kitchen to drink some water and walk around the island/lean on the countertops, and I chatted with my dogs in between contractions.
I went back to our room around 4 and woke collin up crying because those 30 minutes of being upright had REALLY revved things up and I desperately needed some help. I told him to call the midwife and start getting ready because it was time. At this point, I was starting to shake which I knew to mean I was in active labor and going into transition. I tried so hard to calm down but I was starting to get scared I couldn’t do it.
The midwife showed up and checked me and I was a six. I audibly cried out because I was convinced I would be further along. Haha! As soon as she brought her hand out of my body, I felt the urge to push through a contraction which was SO weird but she told me it was because my water bag was bulging and I was feeling the pressure of that.
For the next two hours, she helped me verbally process what was going on because I would not shut up. I was really just feeling scared that it was going to go on like this for a long time, and I could NOT move off my bed. She kept asking if I could get up and change positions but I just sat on the edge of my bed or laid on my side trying to breathe through contractions. I told her if I stand up, I’m going to have to push this baby out and I’m not ready. She understood. Around 6:30AM, the boys woke up and collin asked if he could bring them in to say hi, which I honestly didn’t really care about doing. I was stressed and being very vocal at this point, but it was so nice to say good morning to them! My aunt showed up around this time and turned on the TV for them.
I started to feel ready to meet the baby, though I didn’t feel pushy yet. At 7:15AM, I asked if I could get in the tub and they told me sure. As SOON as I got in, I started laughing and talking because I was so 1) excited to get this baby here 2) the pain really went from a 9 to a 5 instantly.
I didn’t have her check me but I told them I was going to try a tiny push with the next contraction. They said for sure! And my midwife offered to give me some pressure on my hemorrhoids because I had them pretty badly and was really scared of pushing and making them worse. I got on my hands and knees and the first tiny push quickly turned into pushing her all the way into the birth canal. It was intense but as soon as the contraction was over I was smiling and chatting and telling collin to reach in and feel her water bag and head. It was the craziest feeling to be smiling and talking and letting him also feel the baby during the pushing stage. When I felt the next contraction, I knew it was time to get her out, and I pushed until I felt the ring of fire. I even tried to push through it but my body was not having it so I just waited after the contraction was over and had to pant a little to keep her there (my body kept trying to bring her back up a little every time). On the third push, I gave it all I had and i felt her head pop out followed by her body! Her cord was wrapped around her neck a few times but my midwife stayed calm and collin reached for the baby while she unwrapped it. Collin handed her to me and she looked EXACTLY like my other babies, it was so crazy! I think the first real thing I said was, “omg get the boys!” And the next was, “I fucking did it!” Because that was just the WHOLE VIBE!
The boys came in with my aunt Sheri who had popped over to watch them just by chance because I saw she was on IG at 5AM when I was taking a mental break at 8cm. It was totally serendipitous that she happened to be awake and I guess she coordinated with collin via text while I was in the zone. We couldn’t believe this baby was bon ON HER DUE DATE!
My placenta basically just came right out after the baby, so we moved to the bed and began to nurse. She latched right away and I was just in literal heaven, and instantly said I want to do that again! Looks like I’ll have to have another! Hahahaha. I don’t actually want to have another baby, but that just shows how positive the experience was for me. I had always had really long pushing stages, so I couldn’t believe she came out in three pushes. And no vaginal or perineal tears that needed stitching! The midwife did check me and say I had a few small tears (they call them skid marks) just from my tissues stretching, but nothing worth stitching.
The immediate postpartum was amazing and I felt like a queen. However, the following morning Phoenix began to vomit and have diarrhea and it lasted for three days. It was so hard because my mom who flew in and actually just barely missed the birth had to take care of sick children for her entire visit and keep them away from the baby. Sage had a bad cough, and Phoenix had a bad cough, a high fever, and the tummy bug. I felt so bad not being able to be there for him, I just kept having moments of crying because I felt robbed in a way from the postpartum experience I had been planning. I ended up super sick with the coughing virus as well, and every time I coughed or blew my nose, it really hurt my uterus and healing pelvic floor.
Those first few newborn days were so sweet, and luckily she didn’t get sick, but I am still sad about not being able to have those family couch days, my mom getting to bond with me and MY new daughter and all of that I had dreamt of my entire pregnancy. I think also because I viewed this as my final pregnancy, birth, and postpartum experience the entire time, it felt like a loss. I’m really enjoying things now, and have been since about 3 weeks postpartum, but those sick weeks I DON’T RECOMMEND. haha! My midwife was so right.
Anyway, breastfeeding has been going really well with her this time around, and I think I just had too many expectations for what having a newborn with two older kiddos would look like. I basically had to jump into mom-mode right away and try to keep them happy/busy after about 3 weeks postpartum which was tough. I
Thought I would have more days to just lay around with my newborn. Luckily, I physically felt amazing compared to my other births, my varicose veins disappeared RIGHT AWAY (literally by the first time I went pee, they were gone), so that was just incredible.
She’s starting to smile more, wiggle around, and coo these days, so I’m really enjoying it now. She also is starting to have a bit more of a sleeping schedule (for now) so that structure is actually helpful for me and my personal health. If you have any questions or want to learn more about my experiences, you can reach out to me in the comments or email me at karsyndupree@gmail.com. Love you and thanks for reading!